i hadnt got this kinda of moment of emptiness for long and now is coming back. is rarely i would have it. for no particular reasons i had been pretty nonchalant. towards some issues im reallie sentsitive. comes to it i would even tear. esp is frm my dearest woman in my life. i dont blame her of wads she meant. i treat it as some random words dat randomly came out. deep inside i suppose it was an insult.


to her maybe imma still a little girl dat onli knows how to njoy life. she always says you should hef a feel of the hard earned moh-ney! up till now i hadnt got any experience of hard earned moh-ney. i dont know where does money exactly come from. as children we dont care much. as long as we could get wad we want. but now i know i was wrong. she's giving me a hard time now. is killing me boy.


sometimes her intention confuse me. i want to go outta the couch, step out to the world where i kan see money. bud she never let me do dat. in her eyes i am still dat little girl who still uses milkbottle. i would prolly get ripped off and stuff like dat. she's worried. cant she be more optismistic.


hefing thoughts of wads gonna happen later part of my life, fightened me. i want to persue my dream. but i do hefta take some conditions which i cant afford and lots of brain storming. its not easy (no one says its easy), still i wont give up trying. i dont know wads gonna turn out to be like. and who knows i might be.....