i want to quit school


ok maybe not- you got the point.
school screwed up my life in another words.
they turned my friendship to sour, a empty love life, a fucked up time management, a cold relationship with family, the main cause to my fair skin and bad skin, a unhealthy body, super ultra mood swing and unnecessary emo cycle. they are nightmare!


i am no perfectionist, i am not particular with the alignment as long as it look pleasantly good. i am in a design school to flaunt my creativity not here to challenge who is neater. i know neatness points down to quality of work but taa i am not that messy am i? sigh should i just resign to my fate? i am no good with measurements, i am not meticulous, i am not at all anal. I tried really hard to be neat and meticulous hell it was no fun! I took 5 god damn hours to cut perfect squares but still not getting the result i want. how discouraging! Me being me can't help but to compare, why some people takes less than half an hour can cut perfect squares and got a well deserved grade. Me putting in double effort got grades that doesn't pay off? I am human not whatever you call it workaholic or god. i still do need water and food to survive. human has the right to be imperfect and so do i. By the way i really do love imperfection. I am human in its very special way.


How i wish life can get back to its simplest form. When worries doesn't exist, when everybody is treated fairly, no fights, no arguments just peace and love. How i wish i learn not to compare and do what i am good at, just me myself and design. How i wish i can put my results aside and do my ultimate best in my work and not care what sort of grades i get.
And you already know, all these will not happen
good grades=good future=good money=good life


so when will i learn?